


My Name Is T O N Y

by crazy_purple



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Enjoy this garbage, F/M, Father and Son, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Harley is a little shit, IronDad and SpiderSon, Irondad, M/M, Peter has a crush on Harley, Peter is a Little Shit, Poor Tony, Tired Irondad, Written by my last brain cell, everyone's crazy, pepper potts is a queen, spiderson, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 05:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20353222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazy_purple/pseuds/crazy_purple
Summary: Tony Stark is someone who can make you cower with just a glance. You can't imagine talking back to the man who holds such authority. He is also known for getting what he wants. No matter how difficult it is to achieve, he can get it with the snap of his fingers.So why, for the love of god, can't he get the kid to call him ‘Tony?’------------Basically Peter enjoys torturing his IrondadBrought to you by my one last brain cell.





	My Name Is T O N Y

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyy so I planned to post more during the summer because I literally thought I wouldn't be doing anything but apparently I was wrong. I had a fun-packed summer with my family and friends and I hope you guys did too. I know school's starting but I still want to write more, so I'll be posting one-shots whenever I can instead of writing something longer until next summer.

Tony Stark is someone who can make you cower with just a glance. You can't imagine talking back to the man who holds such authority. He is also known for getting what he wants. No matter how difficult it is to achieve, he can get it with the snap of his fingers. 

So why, for the love of god, can't he get the kid to call him ‘Tony?’ It wasn't even his actual name, Anthony, it was just a nickname. In the beginning, he could understand as the kid was being polite. But it has been two years and he was insistent on keeping it up. 

At first, Tony thought that maybe Peter himself didn't know that they were close enough for him to call the man by his first name, so he decided to give the kid the all clear. 

_ “Hey kiddo?” _

_ “Yes Mr. Stark?” _

_ “You know you can call me Tony, right?” _

_ “I know Mr. Stark.” _

_ “Oh... okay then.” _

What a pathetic conversation. Ever since then, Peter has been referring to him as “Mr. Stark.” And it just. won't. stop. 

Even when Harley first came over to the compound, he called him “Tony” and he hoped that would push the kid to do the same but noooo. He still called him “Mr. Stark.” Every. single. time.

_ “Mr. Stark can you help me with this?” _

_ “Hey Mr. Stark! How's it going?” _

_ “That's so cool Mr. Stark!” _

_ “Mr. Stark?” _

_ “Mr. Stark?” _

_ “Mr. Stark!” _

Tony woke up with a soft gasp and looked around the dark room, trying to grasp his surroundings. Pepper was still asleep beside him as he slowly sat up and checked the time. 

_ 3:16 am _

All his stressing over this _ Mr. Stark _ bullshit is actually conflicting with his sleeping habits. Although it is already pretty messed up, he'd like to think that he is improving. But still. Tony has had enough and now he is determined to get the kid to call him by his first name. 

____

Peter knows how much he's annoying his mentor and he would certainly stop if it wasn't so funny to see the man so aggravated by such a small thing. 

And since Peter was the little shit he was, he continues to address the man as ‘Mr. Stark’ and watch him die a little everyday. Best of all, he's got Harley’s approval. Everyone knew he was the king of pranks. Also the fact that he had a little crush on him butthatsbesidesthepoint! 

As per usual, Peter headed for the kitchen, as soon as he arrived from school, to grab a snack. But once he entered, he was met with a stern Tony Stark who stood there, with his arms crossed, having a stare-down with a wall. As funny as it was, Peter did not want to get stuck in the crossfire that was between the man and the inanimate object. But still, he was hungry, so he risked it anyway. 

He pretended to be oblivious of whatever Tony was doing and headed straight towards the cabinet that held the Frosted Flakes. 

“Hey Mr. Stark!” he called out to the man, shocking him out of his stupor. He saw the man wince a little by the use of the name but quickly covered it up. 

“Hey kiddo, we need to talk,” Mr. Stark said, and once Peter saw the determination in the man’s eyes, he knew it was time.

________

Tony stared at the kid, trying to figure out a way to make the kid call him ‘Tony’ without being too forward. But, being the man he was, he decided to just say ‘fuck it’ and ask him straight up. 

“Why don’t you call me by my real name, kid?”

Peter just turned to him, confusion etched onto his face, “I do call you by your real name?” 

His mentor just sighed and shook his head, “I meant my first name, Pete.”

“...what?”

“My first name. Tony. Ring a bell?” He joked, hoping the kid would take a hint. Instead, Peter put the cereal down and walked towards where the man was standing, looking concerned.

“Are you okay, Mr. Stark?”

The man just turned to the kid, baffled as he raised a hand to his mentor’s forehead to check his temperature. “Yes, of course I’m okay,” he batted away the offending hand, “why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, a small frown appearing on his face, “because you’re saying some bizarre stuff, Mr. Stark.”

“Can you quit with the ‘Mr. Stark?’” The man snapped and honestly, he didn’t mean to but he couldn’t handle whatever sick joke the kid was playing right now. 

The boy’s eyes widened and he backed up a bit, stuttering out a small “w-what?” 

“What do you mean ‘what?’” The man looked at him like he was crazy, “I’ve been trying for months now for you to call me ‘Tony’ but you keep avoiding it like the plague.” Tony ran a hand through his hair, slightly pulling it in frustration and Peter almost let out a laugh at the sight, but quickly schooled his expression into a concerned one. He better get nominated for an Oscar after this. “Just call me ‘Tony’ kid!”

Both of them were silent, except for the few pants of frustration coming from Tony. Peter slowly approached the man cautiously with his hands raised. “Mr. Stark, I think you should calm dow-”

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Harley entered the room, unaware of the tension surrounding him, “ooh is that cereal?” He said, snatching up the bowl. While Harley munched on the cereal, purposely ignoring Peter’s glare for stealing his food, a light bulb appeared above Tony’s head. Harley calls Tony by his name all the time! All he had to do was get the kid to call him ‘Tony’ to prove Peter wrong and end this whole madness! 

“Kid,” he waved at Harley, gaining his attention, “call me ‘Tony.’”

The boy just raised an eyebrow but replied anyways, “uh...Tony.”

“YES!” The man jumped (literally jumped holy shit) in joy, pointing at Peter, “Ha, in your face Parker!” 

While the man was celebrating his victory, Harley just turned to Peter and asked, “dude, why’d he want me to call him that?” Peter just shrugged in return while Tony looked at them in confusion and slight disappointment.

“Wait hold on,” the man pointed a finger towards Harley, “what do you mean?”

“What?”

“Call me by my first name, kid.”

Harley just looked at him like he was crazy and turned to whisper to Peter, “dude, what's up with him?”

“I don’t know man, he’s been like this since I came home,” Peter whispered back, as if Tony wasn’t standing within a metre from them. 

Tony stood there, staring at them with a wild look in his eyes and Peter almost dropped the whole act so they can save the man’s sanity. Keyword: _ almost_. 

“Alright fine,” the billionaire huffed, “I know exactly how to fix all of this. Friday?”

“_ Yes boss? _”

“What is my first name?” he asked, a smug smile plastered onto his face as he stared at the confused teens. 

…

“Friday?” The man questioned after receiving no response from the AI.

“_ Yes boss? _”

“Can you tell me what my first name is?”

“_ It seems I do not understand the question Mr. Stark. Please try again in 10 minutes. _”

“Wha- what do you mean you don’t understand?” Tony spluttered, “and try again in 10 minu- you’re not a smartphone!”

The two boys watched the billionaire’s face progressively turn red as he broke down in their kitchen. Yep, they were going straight to hell. 

Peter glanced at Harley, who had a giant smirk on his face while staring at their mentor who was close to tears at this point. Peter couldn’t take this anymore.

“Uhh, Mr. Stark-”

“Gah!” The man paused his crisis to point frantically at Peter, “You. Peter. Youuuu.”

The man advanced in Peter’s direction and the boy backed up in fear of Tony actually murdering him. He glanced at Harley who stood there, shoulders shaking with silent laughter but otherwise making no move to help him. _ Bitch...He’s still good-looking though _.

Peter’s thoughts were interrupted by Tony grabbing his shoulders and staring at him wildly. Right, Peter needs to tame whatever demon he brought out of his mentor.

“You did this Peter,” Tony growled (holy shit he’s actually gonna die), “you made me like this!”

“Now,” Tony continued, “I’m gonna ask you this one last time Parker. What. Is. My. First. Name?”

The room fell silent after those words but the tension made up for it. Peter could relent and keep his life but he’d end up disappointing Harley and no one wants that. God he wished he’d worn the suit. 

Peter took a deep breath, ready to accept his fate when the elevator doors opened and out walked Pepper.

“I swear to God, Tony, you absolute baffoon! If you don’t sign all these documents right now I’ll-”

“Wait, what did you just call me?” 

Pepper just narrowed her eyes at being interrupted, “an absolute baffoon?”

“No, no, before that!”

“...Tony?”

“Yes! Yes!” Tony turned to Peter, still holding him by the shoulders, with a giant grin across his face that made him look like he was a serial killer and Peter was his next victim. 

“You thought you could fool me, child?” Tony laughed hysterically, and to say Peter was scared would be an understatement. He was just contemplating on calling the Avengers to hold this man back from doing anything he might regret when Pepper interrupted. (Thank God).

“Tony, what are you doing?” 

That snapped Tony out of whatever murderous craze he was in and he let go of Peter’s shoulders, turning around to face a stern-faced Pepper Potts. 

“W-What- Pep? What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing here?’ You knew I was here, you even had a conversation with me!” Pepper huffed, close to glaring the man to death (turns out there might be a murder after all), “when’s the last time you slept?”

“Uh-”

“_Boss has slept for a total of two hours the past two days,_” Friday chirped in, unhelpfully. 

Pepper let out a sigh, “you came to bed with me last night. What did you do? Just lie there for eight whole hours?”

(Yes, conjuring up a 12 step plan to make his kid call him Tony as well as calculating a far efficient way to fly through space using his suit, since he had extra time on his hands).

“Uh..”

“Is that all you’re capable of saying?” Pepper groaned and throwing her hands up in frustration before walking over to grab her fiance’s hand and dragged him towards the elevator.

“Tony, what you’re going to do is sleep for eight hours, then you are going to sign these papers and I’m going to sit with you until you finish, okay?”

“Uh..”

“_ Okay? _”

“Yes ma’am.”

The rest of the conversation tuned out as they got into the elevator, leaving behind the two teens staring after them in the kitchen. 

After a few moments of awkward silence, Harley turned to Peter, the bowl still in his hands, “so, wanna go to Delmar’s?”

“Huh?” Peter said, still hung up on the fact that he broke Tony Stark, “isn’t that all the way in Queens?”

“Uh huh, but we got,” Harley paused to check his wrist that held no watch, “eight more hours before Mr. No Leaving The Compound Until After You Finish Your Homework wakes up.”

“Uh..”

Harley rolled his eyes and grabbed Peter’s hand, dragging him towards the elevator, “god you two are so alike.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave kudos if you liked it and comment down below (they're like crack to me). Love you 3247!


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